Friday, February 12, 2016

Should I forgive Him.......

Life indeed is funny, anything or whatever we face in life is either caused by us, or is the way God wants it.
The life I passed through was so cruel and wicked yet to know the word to use to describe it, we come into this world happy, and always praying for God,s guidance and protection. But God knows all.

I grew up in a family of 4, 3 girls and a boy,he was the last in the family,we grew up in a very rich home, my dad was a contractor and my mum was a doctor, you can imagine the life my  parents gave me, while growing up, we went to
 the best schools in lagos, cus that's where I grew up as a child.

My mum and dad were Christians, who believed so much God and has a lot of faith, we the girls they trained us in such a way that, they made us believe that anyone who looses her virginity to any man has offended God, that the blood is a covenant between you and the guy. We all agreed that as far as God bbe with us,
that we will keep our virginity.

Am the second in the family, my elder sister is a quite type, she hardly talks, always keeps to herself, is either she is reading her bible or watching a Christian movie. She was 19 and I was 17, both of us are done with secondary school waiting to get into the tertiary
university. She wanted to study abroad, she likes all this ajebo life, but I prefer the Nigerian university,all my life have been leaving ajebo life, I wanted a change of environment, get into the uni in Nigeria, pass through the sun stress, have friends that are low class,I really wanted to taste the other way of life. That was the worst mistake of my life.

Finally my elder sister left for UK, I missed her
so much, cus we both are usually at home , the other two are in a boarding school,they are hardly at home. But am happy she finally got her admission and she left. It was my turn, I wanted university of Abuja or university of Lagos. Abuja atleast so that I can be away from my family, I won't have mum or dad coming to school to check up on me. I really needed to be free, like be on my own.

I had to re-write jamb, and finally i got a nice grade and I secured  admission into one of the university in Nigeria to study English.

Finally I got into the uni, it wasn't easy I did the registration myself, went through all the stress, it wasn't easy, I was already getting frustrated, like it down on me that life indeed is not a bed
of roses. My lovely parents got me a self contain, very comfortable, I had everything I deeded as a student, school started during my registration I met this girl, name witheld, she helped me alot during the registration, but she came from a poor background, since I was staying alone, I asked her to come and stay with me. We where so close that people thought we were related.

One day, we went to class in the night to study, a guy, quite handsome, tall, cute, has very nice body building. He actually has been making advances at me, but I pretend as if I didn't see him or know what he does, that night he followed us, trying to call me, I pretended as usual, my friend tapped me babe that cute guy is calling you. I told her don't mind him, ignore him, he noticed I wasn't intrested,he left.

I was given an assignment, in my class, quite difficult, trying to figure out how to go about it, in class looking frustrated and depressed, I noticed someone was behind me, I heard a male voice" hello pretty I can actually help you with that assignment you know. I turned it was that same guy , this time I had to pretend, I was like oh really, I would apprecaite if you could help and he went through the assignment. Got a text book and we sat together while we
 researched for it. Finally he did it for me, I felt so relieved, I told him thank you so much, I apprecaite a lot, he was like you are welcome. He requested for my phone number, I reluctantly gave him.

After that I rushed home, I was in the house my phone ran, I knew he was the one, I picked,we talked, he told me he likes me and because of
the promise we made to my mum, all I wanted was a God fearing guy, that won't ask for s*x, don't know if such guys exist, so I felt like I don't care. One evening I was so hungry I went to a eatery with my friend and he was there eating with his friend, immediately my friend tapped me "babe see your boyfriend, I didn't answer her, on seeing us he came to our table, how are you girls doing, I said we are fine, my friend was smiling, wondering what was amazing her.

Both him and his friend joined our table, we got talking, after eating we where walking home, he was with me and his friend was with my friend. He told me how he has been admiring me, but what goes on in my mind is what mummy keep telling us about guys and their deceiving and lying tongue, I made it clear that I wasn't intrested and will never be, the mistake
 I told him also that I was a virgin, and that his type of guy is not worth my virginity.

Please the words I used was it hard, rude or bad, I will like someone to tell me.

After I told him that,he left with anger, my friend was so mad at me, that do I know the implications of what I just did, that the guy is one of the bad guys in school, I told her I don't
care. And we went home.

One night around 9pm I was at home sleeping, my friend called me that she will be coming back late that I should leave the door open for her,I left it open and slept off. Around 12am I noticed a touch on my body, I woke up and what I saw that day, was the shock of my life, that guy with his 2 friends, both laughing, I
didn't see my friend, they were in my room, all
laughing, I begged him please not to touch me, he was smiling, and I was totally naked wearing just a short nighty gown, very transparent, he told his friends to wait for him in the sitting
room,they left ,i knelt down and begged him, before I knew it he over powered me help my mouth, use a hand to tear my night, and zipped down and brought out his pen*s and tried penetrating it was tight,I was begging and screaming no one could hear me, he forced
himself inside me, it was so so painful, he was digging and digging, I could see the excitement on his face, blood was on my bed. When he got tired her stood up and said " are you still a VIRGIN, virgin my foot.

That night was like a night mare, I was like someone should wake me up, this is not real, I couldn't stand up. I was so angry that I touched the blood and cursed him that he will never
 know peace in his life. I couldn't tell anyone I was raped that night, not even my friend,which came back in the morning, she claimed she forgot that she asked me to leave the door open, she slept in her boyfriend,s place. I had feelings that it was a planned work, but I didn't want to talk about it.

Am presently serving in Oyo, we where in camp, in my room when I was called upon that I had a visitor, guess who, it was him, he came to
 ask for my forgiveness. He said since he left school, life has not been treating him well, anywhere he tries,he fails, he went to a church they told him, that he offended a particular girl while in school, that if he doesn't ask for forgiveness. He will never make it in life.

Please should I forgive him or not?

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