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Thursday, March 24, 2016

Am Hurting... What Should I do?



I lived abroad for hustling trusting God for greener pasture.  I came back to Nigeria February 2012 to spend few weeks with my family and to make sure that my building project in the village was going on as it was in the photos been sent to me by my brother who was managing the building construction for me.

Within that period in 2012, I ran into Mabel (surname withheld by editor). She was my childhood female friend and we schooled together. I so much admire her then but it wasn’t anything serious but I like her back then. When I met her I was so happy even her too could not contain herself, she took me to her place and I met her mum. her father is late,

While we re chatting and gisting I found out dt she was still single so I felt it would be a good idea if I engage her as I have been thinking about settling down. After spending 3 solid weeks with her, I proposed and she accepted and we went for medical check,genotype n blood group includes HIV. Every thing was perfect.

Due to time constraint I had to rush up every thing traditionally and paid her bride price before leaving. I rented a 2 room apartment for her while she continue with her job before I went back to Germany. My plan was to come back within a calendar year for our white wedding but unfortunately, things couldn’t work as I planned although we do communicate on phone n Skype.

I do send her money monthly for her upkeep and left 2 cars with her. one Volkswagen Bora and a Toyota Avensis that I was using. I also wired almost N4M to her for safe keep.

Things got awry when a Ghanaian boy I harboured in my apartment in Cologne put me in trouble. I never knew he was into white powder/meth and was caught on transit to Swiss. That was how my problem started. I was apprehended by German BKA in a deadly raid as co roommate and accessory after the fact. 3 lives was lost that day because some guys in our building resisted arrest including a police officer.


All my traveling document were seized based on when their investigation will be over. I was detained by the North Rhine-Westphalia narcotics department and from there we were transported to Hamburg, charged with attempted murder of police agents and dumped in detention. I was denied bail because I was a repeat offender cos of some silly mistakes I made earlier. to make matters worse, my papers expired while I was in detention and that robbed me of some basic rights like access to phones. I had means to reach my wife. The lawyer that was assigned to me was a drunk and this whole drama lasted for 3 yrs during which I spend every Euro I had after which I was deported this January and I came back home to Nigeria with out my wife knowing. I wanted to surprise her.
I went to her apartment only to discovered that she no longer live there. I went to my mother in law,s place, and met a shocking news of my life. She welcomed me rudely and told me that her daughter has remarried since I abandoned her here for a white woman, I couldnt believe my ears, She told me that the marriage was legally dissolved and that the dowry I paid on her awaits me in customary court, that am free to collect it any time. She was shouting and cursing me. The neighbours heard her voice and come out and a small crowd formed. The disdain on her face was a surprise to me because this was a woman that called me mi kekere ti o dara ọkọ (meaning my small good husband). I later heard that the new man marrying my wife is rich and that explained why she was acting all uptight. I told her my mind and called her a disgrace to motherhood before I left. The neighbours who came to her aid also berated her.

I asked around the neighborhood before I traced my wife to her new home at Emmanuel street Iyana Ipaja, I knocked on the door and a gentle man opened d door, l introduced myself to him and he asked me in and call Mabel that she has a visitor.

Lo and behold she came out with a heavy pregnancy. She froze  I couldnt control my self, I broke down in tears. I asked her what happened to my baby because she told me that she was pregnant after I left and she told me that she lost the baby. The new husband was shocked and It was obvious he wasn’t aware she was married before talk-less of being pregnant. I told the new husband every thing that happened and the shocked man pleaded with me to leave his house since I was putting his wife under emotional stress.

The man was a gentle man. A real matured man. He collected my number and asked that we fix a meeting with the family members of the three families involved present so we could sort out the issue. He apologized to me and told me that he was deceived and she didn’t know anything about the previous marriage. he meeting held last 2 days being Sunday and the man says that he is not interested in the marriage again because a woman who could withhold such information back can commit murder. My wife’s kinsmen denied being party to the new marriage or the dissolution of mine. They claimed that my mother in law connived with one dubious uncle in Lagos and collected the new bride price in Lagos and then proceeded to the court with news that I abandoned my bride for a white woman hence they granted the dissolution.


My pregnant wife was just sitting their crying as if she was the victim. She would beg me and beg her new husband. I really don’t want her anymore. All i want are the two cars I left for her them, The N3,600,000 I gave her to keep and the N200,000 i gave her mother.
I am writing this in so that our women especially mothers of this generation will buckle up and stop misleading their daughters. My wife is not a strong willed person and from all indications, Her mum was using her as meal ticket. Men should shine their eyes and learn from my sad experience, Most Nigerian girls are  not interested in love or commitment anymore. All they hear, think and see is money. Thats why they no dey carry ear hearsay the guy dey abroad. If this woman truly loved me. What is 3 years? yes, she didnt hear from me but for Gods sake I was married to her and It wasnt like we were boyfriend girlfriend. Every single day I spent in jail, I thought about her and was thinking of how she would be struggling to raise my child. I would have forgiven and taken her back if she wasnt already pregnant for another-man. that was how much i loved her. She claims that the Money I gave her was stolen by fraudsters who scammed her with Juju but I am not buying any of that.

I am only asking for legal options and opinions on how to recover my cars and my money.



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Always send your relationship issues to genevieveugozor@yahoo.com

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