Thursday, March 31, 2016

Married out of pity

My close friend is going through some emotional trauma, now here is the scenario.
She was dating this guy for a year and half and broke up with him in December 2013 then met few other people. But now the thing is she really like one of them but never planned to marry him so she put him through a stupid test and he failed. So she began dis-liking him.

Unfortunately for her she got pregnant for him & she was really sad about it & was confused but she never planned on marrying the guy but then she told her mum about it and her mum said she must not do a D & C(abortion). That her pastor warned against it, so she kept it.
My friend who respect her dad so much and did not want to disappoint nor bring shame to her dad was...

scared to tell her dad that she doesn't want to marry him but just have the child.
She felt her dad would kill her so she had to be with the guy but then my friend remained unhappy, distabilised and all. Her brother and his wife could see she was unhappy and they asked her what she wanted. Luckily for her, the guy came that day and they both sat down & spoke with them but... friend who was having pity for the guy because of his caring way did not want to tell her brother that she doesn't feel like marrying the guy.
Let me just say she married the guy out of pity bcus he stood by her and decide to give it a Yes, that it would work and would end up loving this guy. But then the guys family are drama packed. My friends dad has been calling.
...on the guys father for the wedding preparations but he keeps giving excuses. So my friend and the guy did court wedding but her dowry has not been paid.
Now my friend says she doesn't want to be with the guy that she regret going against her heart and dat she made a wrong choice so I asked her if the guy beats her or maltreats her, she said NO that she doesn't love the...

...guy it shows in her attitude towards him and the guy sees it and again they have financial issues.
The guy isn't "boxed up" cos what he earns can't even take care of the child, my friend and him for a month and he ends up borrowing every time which she's getting sick about. She says she wants to leave the guy and doesn't want to end up cheating on him. She's with the ......guy bcos of the child and bcos she took him out of pity and nothing more.
She's really sick about the whole thing and wants to leave. She's not been happy for 3 years now, she doesn't go out, make her hair, buy clothes, have a life bcos of no money but she is even still managing that life with him & constantly praying for him but no change, as things are still the same.

She wants her life back cos she used to be the travel type, and on point but now she is a "low lifer".

She says she ls not even too worried about that but no love and she's not passionate about him and doesn't want to be with him. Please advice what can she do about this issue.

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