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Sunday, April 24, 2016

Married To An Impossible Man




I'm from the eastern part (Igbo) of Nigeria while my ex-husband is from the western part (Yoruba). I am a christian and he happens to be a Muslim. Before we got married (traditional marriage), we agreed to tolerate both the tribal and religious differences btw us, but little did I know that he was fooling me. When we finally got married not later than 24hrs.

I regretted the marriage cos I felt like some1 who has been cured of spiritual blindness. As we drove back to Lagos I couldn't believe I had just made the greatest mistake of my life. As much as I kept having that feeling for as long as the marriage lasted, i still tried to encourage myself by praying. A week after our marriage his company transferred him to Akure & paid for...
...his hotel accommodation.
At first it was a sad news to me considering that we just got married but on a second thought I felt it would be a sort of honeymoon experience for us but unfortunately I was just day-dreaming cos my so called husband preferred the company of his colleagues. He was practically having fun without me. Once they come back from work btw 2 and 3pm,...
...they change and go for swimming and will stay there for as long as they care to.
It never occurred to him that he was hurting me. Neither was his colleague sensitive enough to advice him. If they are not watching half naked girls @ the poolside, they are playing snooker or table tennis or driving around town. I cried myself to sleep many nights cos by the time he comes...
...back and manages to shower, he will doze off and his snores are very terrific.
By this time it has become crystal clear to me that I had just married the wrong guy. He was far from my expectations. That was the beginning of my emotional torture. Before we left Akure, him and his colleagues moved to 3 other hotels claiming they are expensive but as God would have it,...
...on the 3rd month he was re-posted background to Lagos.
I tried talking to him but funny enough he never saw anything wrong with his behaviour. He claimed he was just having fun. His family members comes to the house without prior notice and leave without even informing me. Its important I let u know that I was 2months pregnant when we got married and all through the...
...times I battled with the symptoms of pregnancy.
My so called husband never deemed it right to spend time with me or show me love. He used work as a excuse & I slowly saw myself withdrawing into my shell out of depression and lack of communication. We barely talked about anything without ending up with arguments. The 2 years plus that we lived together was like hell for me.
I later noticed that he deals with charms (i saw cowries in his bag 1 time he came back from a trip) n each time I confront him over some mysterious things I see, apart from the cowries, he would tell me it's for protection. He also claims he doesn't drink alcohol but I occasionally see hot drinks hidden in the house with pieces of paper with things written on them...

...which someone later interpreted as incantations.
Again I ask him and he'll tel me it's non of my biz. All this and many more made me withdraw daily from him and when it comes to s*x, that has always been an issue for us cos I can't freely give myself to someone who doesn't treat me right and yet sees it as normal. As a result he also sees nothing wrong with sleeping...

...outside since i'm not giving him what he wants.
To my knowledge he has been with @ least 5 women and the last one I know of was so obvious that he calls her in my presence and they even video chat. At a point he told me he was afraid that she could be pregnant for him. On one occasion when his son was sick and needed care, he choose to be with her over his son's health.

That was the day I finally made up my mind that this guy doesn't worth my tears. A lot of other things happened but the bottom line is that I left him on a very good day. He went to work, I packed my things & left with my son. Now he is making noise that I should bring back his son. But cos I want my son to live and grow into a better person than his father, I cannot take...


...him to his father.
I tried all I could to let him see that I am not dragging his son with him but he still remains adamant cos the only language he understands is 'trouble' which I am done with. Now a lot of people are asking me to let my son go but that's the last thing I will do.

Those saying I should take his son to him are scared that he might use diabolical means to frustrate me using the child as a means...this is all.

Please what's your sincere advice?


1 comment:

Always send your relationship issues to genevieveugozor@yahoo.com

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