Friday, April 22, 2016

Please I Need Advice

I'm a 22yrs old girl, done with school, done with Nysc, done with masters, working and I have a side business. I'm in a 6months relationship with a guy (duh), I would have called him the best guy ever, but he's surely the best boyfriend I've had. He's 34, he's Igbo, I'm Yoruba.

He has a small business, He treats me well, buys me things, doesn't mind the fact that I'm plus-sized, is a Christian, always going to church and all. He's practically what every girl would want. He wants to marry me, I've met his sister, who loves me, he wants me to meet his mum, but I said I'm not ready, I'm 22, am I ready for marriage? My elder siblings got married really late, that they had started fasting and praying for husband, I really dont want that to happen to me, besides, I'm done with school and working, what else is left for me to do.... The thing is..... sometime ago, I found out he has a white lover. Well, she's in her 60s and I'm sure we know what that means, #scam! Found out when I checked his phone, they had exchanged Unclad pics and love messages. He denied at first but ended up confessing after weeks..... I come from a wealthy family and I can't help but to think that this is just another scam. I started thinking- this guy doesn't really make any effort with his business. It's a small business and I don't see it moving forward or bringing in any large amount of money(not a curse, he's just not serious), I even advice him on steps to take, business ideas, he just never seems interested. But he spends, spends on me too, and I've asked so many times how he's getting the money, says he has some money saved up. I am beginning to see him as a lay about. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with dating someone who isn't really financially buoyant but, he's not doing anything about it. Monday morning, 10am, he's still on his bed while I'm at work. I'm like WTF Through out the course of our relationship, we have never fought. Now, I feel I'm his ticket out of being broke (no (no offense but it just seems that way...but, I may be wrong). Recently, I have tried so hard to bring up arguments or fights, but we never do. This just increases the level of suspicion......... another thing is for about 2 months, he hasn't been able to rise up to the occasion during sex, and he doesn't want to talk about it, even tho I see him drinking some native stuff, but it doesn't seem to be working. It's just frustrating. Another thing is that, he always wants me to make the decisions, like I should be the guy in the relationship... I really don't want that, I'm like decide what you want yourself. Recently, I can't just stand him, I don't wanna talk to him, don't wanna chat, I don't even wanna see him. I've been a very neglecting and annoying girlfriend,hoping he would breakup, but no, he's still loving, doesn't want to let go or breakup. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to breakup with him, and sometimes I feel that what if I breakup with him and no guy loves me the way he does? What if I end up being old and single? I know most of u would say I should focus on my life, but I have a fear of being single and lonely. So, my story might be scattered but I hope you understand it. Please no insults, I just want advice. Am I overreacting?

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