Sunday, October 2, 2016

Being a single mum is not a crime

I met children's father and fell pregnant for him the same month we started dating.  Within three weeks of dating him I realised he was not what I wanted so I decided to end the relationship as I found out he had a girlfriend and his mother was happy with her. After finding out I was pregnant I didn't know how to tell him since I told I didn't want the relationship. My Aunty insisted on telling him before my belle big. So I finally told him at 7 weeks those days it was messenger chatting online.

Anyway bobo agree to collect belle but not knowing that he had doubts that the pregnancy might not be his. I would've aborted pregnancy if not for the fact that I was trying to get pregnant with my ex bobo but belle no come for over three years. Anyway my wonderful handsome son came along a spitting image of his dad.  Shortly after we had  an argument him and twin brother said I can go if I want to. I left came back and fell pregnant with my beautiful daughter. Things went from bad to worst with him and his family. To cut a long story short there was domestic violent, verbal and emotional abuse from him and his family, since I didn't have any family here in the uk police and women's aid came to my refuge thanks to my wonderful pastor and uncle that I met at work for their support at that time I was able to move out with no papers I had a one and two year old children before this incident I've being through a lot trying to find my feet in this cold country where if you don't have your papers most men use, abuse you and dump you. When I moved out I didn't know where my next meal was coming from, but I was just tired of the emotional and verbal abuse. The one that hurt the most was him and his family calling my children bastards. The first thing I did was sort out a DNA test after I moved out it took a year for them to agree to do it because I said I'll changed my childrens name if it wasn't done. He went as far as refusing to get my children their British passport even though he was born here and is British  but thank God I finally got my papers five years after I left him without any of his documents in the application for both me and my children. He beg to come back, being a Nija woman I took him back so many times between 2012-2014 but noticed he refused to marry and never made attempt to meet my family. So 2014 I caught him cheating with a woman 13yrs older than him and they were planning to get married I just tell I'm say I beg I no fit compete with person whey fit born me. So I finally moved on. Over the past nine years I've always put my children first making sure they're emotionally stable and put my needs last. People use to look down on me as a single parent but I thank God that today the same people look up to me and ask me for advice and how I managed to raise two talented children on my own because I put God above all I did my children came first and settling down with any man was the last thing on my list. I used to tell people that I didn't have the space to fit any man in. I started working with end of life patient and saw what true was meant with a couple and then said God I want someone that will love my soul and not my body. I thank the Almighty Father for answering my prayer over my children and blessing me with a words cannot describe loving partner. For nine years I raised my wonderful children on my own but thank God  today I have two beautiful celebrity children as I call them and a wonderful partner. When a man leaves or you decide to leave don't rush into another relationship, find yourself, search what went wrong and if there're children involved concentrate on bringing them up. The right man will come along by then you'll be strong ready and know what you want. You don't have to prove to your ex that you can do better by jumping into the hands of the first idiot that says I love you. Remember men in London find single women attractive because they want freebies. I had more toaster as a single parent than  when I was single and I used to screen and sack them instantly....

1 comment:

  1. I love this story, it's such a motivation.


Always send your relationship issues to


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